To Daddy

 

June 16, 2024

 

Dear Daddy,

 

I was rummaging through your things after you left and saw some black and white photos of you as a young man. You may have been in your 20s then, or early 30s. You looked different, but familiar at the same time. Different from how you looked earlier this year, but familiar because of the resemblance to the dad I knew as a young child.

I held the photos in my hands today, Father’s Day, and kept on looking, searching for something. I see that little smile with the happy eyes, and the smart determined confidence in the way you stand. Yes, that was you in the photos.

But that was so long ago. When I close my eyes, the image that comes to mind is of you on the chair by the window in the living room, frail but tapping your foot to kundiman I would play on Spotify, with eyes looking afar. You were 94. Just one more month and you would have been five years shy of reaching 100.

I was working at the office that day last March when I received a video call from those left at home. They were hysterical. I kept asking what happened but it took awhile before one of them calmed down enough to say you were not moving, not breathing.

I told them to bring you to the nearest hospital. They asked if they should call an ambulance. I said, “Hindi, kayo na magdala. Mauuna pa kayo sa ambulance.”

It seemed so surreal and the next hour was a blur. I went on informant mode, informing those who needed to know while talking to the ER on the other phone, and wait, the food app rider is downstairs calling me too. And wait, I need to book a ride to the hospital ASAP. Oh wait, here is the ride. Wait, I need to log out first at the bundy clock. Surreal.

Anyway, that was March, Daddy. It’s now June and it’s Father’s Day today. We were able to clean out your room, well, almost. Your files though – I still have two boxes to go through, and they’re still in the home office, have been so since end of March. In two weeks, the boxes would have been sitting there for three months already. Oops, sorry. Will find time. Within the year.

Sigh.

It’s been difficult without you around, Daddy. I feel the lack of your presence. Even our aspin dog Kobe feels your absence. But we’ll be okay. Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.

Sending you love up there in heaven. Have a great Father’s Day, Daddy, with our Heavenly Father. He picked the best dad for me, did you know that?

 

VERSE OF THE WEEK: “Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” Isaiah 64:8