Get into your kid's world

"Oh look, it's Domo-kun!" I said, pointing to stuffed toys of the brown Japanese character at Toy Con 2011, the annual toy convention held at SM Megamall recently. "And Angry Birds, and lots of anime characters. Do they have Lucky Star?"

Yup, that's me talking. Thanks to my son's interest in Japanese anime, I am not so unfamiliar with what some kids and teens are into these days.

When Miley Cyrus was in town recently, someone in the office asked, "Does Miley Cyrus have a lot of fans?" And I said, "Hello? Hannah Montana!"

And when the video of that 4-year-old Fil-Am boy singing a Warbler song a la Darren Criss on "Glee" became viral, someone in the office again said he's not familiar with the song as he doesn't watch "Glee".

I know who Miley Cyrus is, and I watch "Glee". And "Lucky Star". And some years back, "High School Musical" and "Gundam Seed Destiny".

I try to make time to get to know what kids today like because it's a way to bond and build relationships with today's generation.

I know I’m not alone in this mission because when Taylor Swift was here a few months ago, two of my friends watched the concert with their daughters and their daughters’ friends. And they realized Taylor is really a great performer and a good role model for today’s kids.

Same thing when Justin Bieber arrived in Manila this year. Guess who were photographed with preteens and teens in the crowd? Their parents.

What is your child into? Find out, get into it yourself, and in the process get to know your child more.

Since my son loves cars, I have seen my share of auto shows and even drift competitions from which I have come home smelling like burnt rubber. Is it worth it, grime and all? It is. Our children are priceless, and time spent with them is valuable.

Click here to read this on the Smart Super Women blog.

Learning starts with wanting to learn

At a lunch meeting early this week with a school official, talk veered to teaching. I asked the woman I met with if she also teaches there.

"No! I can't teach these young kids. I tried before, but I just can't do it again. I can teach adults, but not college kids," she said.

She then went on to explain how difficult teaching is and moreso when the students are not interested or behaved.

I nodded in agreement, as I know what she's talking about.

Back in 2005, I taught communication subjects at a college nearby, and the yearlong stint has instilled in me an even greater respect for teachers. You see, I realized how much of a vocation teaching is.

You spend many hours preparing for your classes, then when you are in class, you give all that you've got. Teaching exacts much of you, as you give of yourself so your students can learn.

But I realized after a time, that even though you pour out your heart teaching, not everyone will learn. Only those who want to learn, who are willing to learn and be taught, and who are teachable will be the ones to benefit. Even the smart guys stand to lose if they are not hungry to learn.

It’s like me when faced with html codes that all look Greek to me. My brain refuses to process it, or refuses to even try, and I give up right away. I don’t even want to learn html because, well, it looks so complicated and I’d rather leave it for others to decipher. But give me something else–history, current events, whatever, and chances are, I’ll lap it up. I want to learn while I still have breath in me. There’s just so much going on in this world and we have so much to learn from each other.

As parents, we should instill in our children a love for learning. How? It starts with us. When we ourselves show amazement at new discoveries, when we make the effort to feed our minds and engage in critical thinking, when we look upon our world with curiosity and ask, what can I do to make this world better–children pick that up.

Love learning. It’s a great way to live!

Click here to read this on the Smart Super Women blog.

Tutoring our children

Back when my son was in preschool and the early grades, I would try to rush home early, and beg off from after-work activities to make way for "Homework Time."

That was the time I reserved on weekdays to help my son with his homework, and if there wasn't any, to make him answer reviewers I would make myself.

As the years went on, I trusted him to study on his own. But there were times when he and I agreed a tutor would help, such as during one summer he spent going twice a week at a tutorial center for high school math stuff.

He also attended a summer tutorial course this year to prepare for college entrance exams.

My friends who are also parents also believe in tutoring their children. Most of them take the time to help their kids with homework, and some of them have hired tutors when they couldn't be there or don't feel they're up to the task.

Back when I was a student, tutoring was not the norm. Even parents did not take the time to teach and tutor their children.

Over the years, with more studies done on education, though, and parenting, too, experts have realized that children stand to benefit from tutoring.

One, it can help children keep up with their lessons and understand the subject better, according to the article “How to Know When It’s Time to Get Your Kid a Tutor” on parentingworld.net.

Two, tutoring can help a child who’s already excelling in the same subject. According to the aforementioned article, a child who already knows the subject matter being tackled in class will become bored and uninterested during class discussions. A tutor can teach him beyond what the class can offer and challenge him to keep on learning.

Tutoring provides that one-on-one mentor-mentee relationship, or at the least, a learning environment with a very small group. A student is free to ask questions and go at the pace he wants and needs.

When my son had that math tutorial a few years ago, he told me that his tutor was still a college student studying chemistry at the University of the Philippines. And though the tutor was not a math major, he knew his algebra and trigonometry and made it so much simpler than my son’s teacher in class did.

Sometimes we need a little help, and a tutor just might be the answer.

Click here to read this on the Smart Super Women blog.

How parents really feel about those college entrance tests

I craned my neck to scan the crowd for a familiar face. So many high school seniors have been spilling out onto the sidewalk on Taft Avenue in Manila right after they took the De La Salle University College Entrance Test (DLSUCET) last Sunday night. Some of them were smiling, while some looked serious.

“Ang hirap naman ng exam! Puro word problems! Mas madali pa ang ACET!” one guy said, talking to someone on his cellphone. (The ACET refers to the Ateneo College Entrance Test.)

“Madali lang. Mas mahirap pa ang ACET, pero pinakamahirap ang UPCAT,” said my son when we finally met up. (UPCAT, on the other hand, is the University of the Philippines College Admission Test.)

Parents and relatives wait it out outside Melchor Hall in UP Diliman in August 2011 while their children take the UP College Admission Test (UPCAT). Photo by Karen Galarpe

I found it sweet to see a mom smiling from ear to ear as her daughter was telling her something. And then there was the touching scene where a daughter held on to her dad’s arm, a latte in the other hand, while they walked.

She was talking about the exam animatedly, while her dad beamed from ear to ear.

This has been the pattern, more or less, for the past few months as many college hopefuls have started taking those competitive college entrance exams at the country’s top universities. Parents would anxiously wait right outside exam venues, and would be all ears to find out how their children did.

At the University of the Philippines (UP) campus last August, thousands of parents and family members (with some of them even bringing their pet dogs as well) congregated outside UPCAT venues throughout the campus as the examinees went out. The anxiety written on parents’ faces would change to pride and joy as soon as their sons and daughters emerged from the gates.

The same scenario was seen in the next exam, that of the University of Santo Tomas (UST) that same month. Then it was replicated at the Ateneo de Manila University last September and DLSU last Sunday. Before the month is over, UST will have its second UST Entrance Test (USTET) for high school seniors.

If students are nervous about these tests, so are their parents, believe me. Every parent wants only the best for her child, and a good education, they say, is the best legacy a parent can give. Of course, most parents want their children to get the best university education there is, thus the shared anxiety during this season.

Come January next year, expect to see ecstatic status messages on Facebook from parents of college hopefuls as universities start releasing the lists of those who got admitted to their campuses. To see one’s child get into the university of his dreams – that would be a milestone along with the great moments of all time: the day a child made his first step, celebrated his first birthday, went to school for the very first time, attended his first prom, and graduated from high school. Someday, in the far far future, we hope, would be the first relationship, the wedding, and the first grandchild for us. But that seems like light years away. For now, there is college, and so we wait.

Click here to read this on the Smart Super Women blog.

Building memories

Looking over the chocolates on the shelves at the supermarket today, I smiled at seeing a bag of local cheap chocolates individually wrapped in white-and-orange stripes. “It’s still alive!” I thought to myself, as I picked up the little bag and added it to my basket. Memories of me in my grade school uniform unwrapping those little chocolates while in the school bus (more like a school jeep) on the way home came to me on the way to the cashier’s counter.

Then other grade school memories flashed: filing past displays of swimming fish at the Manila Aquarium (there was such a thing back in the 70s), eating my classmate’s baon back in Grade 4 (since she lived near our school, she had hot lunch delivered every lunch break, and often times could not finish her meal), running around and going up and down the slide in the playground under the hot noonday sun, swimming with my father in a beach (me in T-shirt and shorts, he in maong pants), going from tomb to tomb at the cemetery with my cousins to collect candle wax on All Saints’ Day and rolling them up in huge hot balls, and traipsing down Session Road in Baguio with my family, all of us bundled up in sweaters and jackets.

Those were the days when we had nary a care in the world about traffic, debts, bad news, sickness, inflation, catastrophes, love life, and what have you. What mattered then was that precise moment, when we just did what we had to do and lived for that moment alone.

A few years ago, I interviewed Heinz Bulos, a money-smart dad and editor of a personal finance magazine, about family finances, and he said something that stuck to my mind: “Spend for experiences rather than stuff,” he said. “As dads, we have a tendency to lavish our kids with material things, partly out of guilt for not spending enough time with them and mostly because we just enjoy seeing the smiles on their faces. But their excitement is gone weeks or even days after getting something they want. So instead of buying more and more stuff, spend for experiences–trips to the zoo, the park, the beach–since memories of happy experiences last much longer than the fleeting enjoyment of toys and gadgets. Plus you get to spend quality time with them. More experiences, less stuff.”

What memories are you building with your children? I hope that someday, even when he is a grown man, my son will remember us going to Manila Zoo and Enchanted Kingdom, swimming in the clear waters of Boracay, eating sushi in Tokyo, watching cars drift in an exhibition game in Greenhills, plunking down on the floor of a bookstore at the mall to read a storybook together, or just sharing a piece of chocolate at home on a lazy summer afternoon.

Click here to read this on the Smart Super Women blog.

On parenting, career, and womanhood

Sharing here snippets of my past blog posts in Smart Super Women:

Loving reading
http://www.smartsuperwomen.com/loving-reading/

Easy summers
http://www.smartsuperwomen.com/easy-summers/

Me, Super Mom
http://www.smartsuperwomen.com/me-super-mom/

Summer class
http://www.smartsuperwomen.com/summer-class/

Choosing a college course
http://www.smartsuperwomen.com/choosing-a-college-course/

So different yet so alike
http://www.smartsuperwomen.com/so-different-yet-so-alike/

The transporters
http://www.smartsuperwomen.com/the-transporter/


Busting stress
http://www.smartsuperwomen.com/592/

Will post more original content and links to future posts in smartsuperwomen.com soon!

S, the blog for smart women and super women

I just joined a blog network for moms and women called Smart Super Women.

Here are the first 3 entries I have posted there:

Multitasking a Must


For the nth time, I ate at my desk at work today. Some days are hectic, some aren’t, and today is just one of the hectic ones at the newsroom.

In between writing and editing news about OFWs arriving from Libya, Fil-Ams observing Lent in America, and a 5-star chef whipping up gourmet dishes in Baguio City, I would grab a bite of my rice meal picked up from the food court, and think about what to write in this blog.

Sometimes I feel I am doing so many things—multitasking—but I just cannot NOT multitask. I am a mother after all, and a daughter, and a sister, and a working journalist, and a friend too.

And so I try to do what I can on most days, armed with a little prayer to God up there, and with a smile to greet the people around me. Better to brighten up the world, right? There are just so many weird and bad things happening in the world around us.

If you’re a mom, you’d know what I’m talking about—multitasking—and probably can recall having to make a grocery shopping list while waiting for a meeting to start, or dropping by a bookstore on the way home from work to buy a cartolina or some oslo paper your child absolutely needs the next day.

Some days you field a call from the office while stirring that spaghetti sauce in the kitchen at home. At other times, you just drop everything and care for your child who is nursing a high-grade fever.

Motherhood—it’s tough, and more so if you’re a working mom at that. But no other calling is closest to my heart than being a mom to my son, now a teenager.

Along the way, I’ve learned many things about mothers, kids, teaching, learning, bonding, living life, celebrating each moment. I won’t pretend to know it all, but will share here what I know works. After all, we’re all in this—motherhood—together.

So smile, mom, no matter how busy you are.

 [Click this to read this article on the blog.]

Where Were You?


Over lunch today, at the despedida for my uncle set to leave for the US for good, my aunt told me stories about her grandchildren. One is already in college, and will be in his junior year in his IT course this June.

“What? He’s in college already?!” I exclaimed. The last time I saw him, he was maybe in grade 1, having so much fun at a swimming party.

Well, what should I expect? My son was only 4 or 5 when we went to that same swimming party. And he will be 16 next month.

Time flies, you’ve heard that before, but I say time flies faster, it seems, when kids are involved. The little kid you used to bring to prep class may have just attended prom last month, or is excited now to embark on college life in June.

My brother used to tell me to enjoy every bit of my son’s growing up years because kids don’t remain kids long.

A few years ago, when I taught a writing course at a college nearby, I gave my students, mostly college seniors, a finals exam I deemed would be easy for them: Write an essay about the life lesssons you learned using the writing techniques you learned in class. “Write from the heart,” I told them.

Soon, someone was sniffling. Someone was crying. As they poured out their thoughts on paper, it was as if a wealth of emotions bottled up inside got freed.

Most of my students then were children of overseas Filipino workers, and many of them had one question it seems, for their parents: “Where were you… when someone made fun of me in grade school? … when the dentist pulled my tooth? … when I got sick of dengue and needed to be hospitalized? … when I had graduated with honors and needed you to pin a medal on me? … when I first became a teen? … when I had my circumcision? …when I needed a hug?” One asked, “Why didn’t you say goodbye when you left when I was 4? Why have you not come back at all?”

Tough questions.

Kids don’t stay kids long. Love them, enjoy them, hug them, be with them.

 [Click this to read this article on the blog.]

The Saving Habit

The security guard peeked into my little red checkered tote bag before allowing me entry into the bank early Wednesday morning last week. He must have been amused because he said, “Thank you, ma’m” in a cheerful tone.

Inside my bag, you see, was a Zip Loc plastic bag full of P5 and P10 coins. Total weight: maybe 5 pounds. Total count: over P1,000.

It was my mom’s gift to my son. For quite some time, my mom would drop P5 and P10 in two piggybanks. They became full recently, and so she gave them to my son. It was my son who decided to deposit all of the coins in his account at the bank, which was what he did too when he got some cash as gift last Christmas.

I can’t remember how old he was when I first opened a bank account for him. Definitely it was before he started grade school, though. And so over the years, whenever he would receive cash from godparents and family members, these would go straight to the bank.

When my two friends got married more than a decade ago, I was floored when I learned they bought a house using their own money as downpayment. They were just in their 20s then. It turns out both of them grew up with their parents saving for them in the bank all the money gifts they received since they were small. So in some 20 years, compound interest has made their savings grow so much that these were enough to help them start on their own two feet when they got married.

The habit of saving can be instilled in a child early. Aside from opening a bank account for him, let him see you and the people around you practice saving as well. Start today and keep at it until it becomes second nature to your child.

 [Click this to read this article on the blog.]

The other moms have great stories and lessons to share based on their own personal experiences as well. Check regularly for fresh practical content. :)

BOOK OF THE WEEK: I finally picked up my copy of The Fourth Estate by Jeffrey Archer, which, I realized was sitting in my bookshelf for something like 10 years. This fiction book is about the business of publishing, including the deal-making behind it. I'm still in the early pages, but it does seem interesting.

VERSE OF THE WEEK: Commit to the LORD whatever you do and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3

A mother's oatmeal

Seems I spoke too soon.

Just a few days after I wrote my previous blog post on how to survive Christmas, I find myself violating one of them: get plenty of rest.

So here I am with a giant ball of some sort stuck in my throat, it seems, and swallowing food or drink has been difficult for the 3rd day in a row ('di ba halata sa NCAD party? hahaha).

And because symptoms come in groups (they don't like solo flights), I also had fever last night, body aches up to now, and sticky phlegm. Sorry for the TMI.

But this post isn't really about that. It's to say how loved I feel whenever I am sick.

My mom checked on me throughout the night, and this morning made me some oatmeal.

Yup, at my age, I still yearn for some motherly care, and I feel so blessed to have my 79-year-old mom still strong enough to cook some oatmeal for me.

My son, aged 15, on the other hand, brought me a glass of water, which he doesn't usually do.

I am in bed right now, nursing whatever thing this is (my niece, a doctor, texted to say it must be upper respiratory infection), and hoping it would last a little bit more so I can have a taste of my mom's home-cooked oatmeal again tomorrow.

KSP? Yeah, guilty.

BOOK OF THE WEEK: I've had the book Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges for quite some time now, and I've gone through most of the chapters with my Bible study group. We may be so conscious of avoiding the big sins (murder, adultery, etc.) that we may have become so short-sighted as to not have the same vigilance over "small" or "respectable" sins such as pride, envy, ungodliness, and so forth. Worth reading.

VERSE OF THE WEEK: "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!" Isaiah 49:15

Bringing up teenagers

Just when you thought you have it down pat, your child's teen years arrive and suddenly, everything changes. What worked before won't work now as your child tries to assert his independence.

I'm glad there are resources out there for parents of teenagers today. One of them is the book Parenting Teens written by Evelyn Ramos Pajaron with her husband Teody (published by Church Strengthening Ministry, 2009, 267 pp.).

In it, Evelyn and Teody of Campus Crusade for Christ go personal and talk about how they raised their kids Charissa and Hesedel during the tumultuous teenage years. Both of them write from the heart as they share lessons learned in communicating with their teens, handling boyfriend/girlfriend issues, talking about sex, dealing with teens' need for gadgets (they're the I.T. generation after all), setting boundaries, disciplining, having debut parties and celebrating their teen's passage into manhood (turning 21) and the clincher--letting go. What I like about the book is that the authors don't "preach down" to their readers. They just tell it like it is, the way you would talk with your close friend over coffee. Another plus: it's written by Filipinos and they wrote it with the Filipino culture in mind.

Some gems from the book:

* "Mothers cannot and were never meant to do parenting all by themselves. And this is especially more important during the challenging teen years. Fathers play such an underrated but extremely crucial role in the home."

* "He (God) is our partner in rearing and dealing with our teenagers... He loves them with a passion more than we do, and the love that we feel for our children is nothing compared to His love and His wanting the best for them."

* "If we don't take the lead in teaching our children the right view of sex as God's gift to be enjoyed within the bounds of marriage, they will acquire our hang-ups and adopt the world's view of sex."

* "If we want our homes to be a place where our teens hang around, then we need to loosen up, relax, and see humor in our everyday lives."

* "[Make] them feel they are loved regardless of how they behave... Try to get into their world once in a while. Listen more and talk less."

VERSE OF THE WEEK: Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye. Proverbs 7:2

6 life lessons from a woman with a planet named after her

If you had a planet named after you, and a stage on which you can stand on and share what you want new high school graduates (and their parents, guests, and ok, the whole wide planet Earth) to know, what would you say?

Dr. Josette Biyo, outstanding educator and first Asian recipient of the Intel Excellence in Teaching Award given at the 2002 Intel International Science and Engineering Fair in Kentucky, USA, took such an opportunity last Wednesday, March 31, 2010 when she addressed the pioneer graduates of Malayan High School of Science at their commencement ceremony at RCBC Plaza in Makati City. Dr. Biyo is now director of the Philippine High School of Science, Western Visayas campus.

Here are Dr. Biyo's advice and life lessons, things which she herself follows.

1. There is no shortcut to success. Don't cram. Submit your requirements on time.
2. Love what you're doing. When you love to learn, studying is easy.
3. Don't be afraid to commit mistakes. Committing mistakes is one of the best ways to learn.
4. Follow the golden rule.
5. Have a dream. "I dreamt of stars. I was given a planet," said Dr. Biyo. To honor her achievements, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology named a minor planet (12341) as Planet Biyo. She said, "I invite you all to visit the planet. No visa required."
6. Always pray. Pray when you can't understand your lessons, when you're confused, and to thank God for His blessings.

Dr. Biyo revealed that she lives by these truths too. She remembers teaching in a small rural school at one time and found herself handling not just science subjects, her forte (she was a BS Biology graduate of the University of the Philippines), but also physical education, and even Citizens Army Training (CAT). These instilled in her the values of service and compassion as she negotiated the long road to success.

Wise words, aren't they? Applicable to people of all ages, graduates or not.

BOOK OF THE WEEK: I've had the little book Train Up a Child by Harold Sala for several years now, and it's good to keep rereading it as one's child grows. As he wrote, "Realize that the training of a child begins at birth and never stops." The book talks about the importance of communicating with our children, disciplining them, how to convey values, among others.

VERSE OF THE WEEK: You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26:3

Patrick Henry Hughes - Inspirational Story

Just how far can a father’s love go?

I was on Facebook early this morning as soon as my teenage son left for school, and saw this heartwarming video of Patrick Henry Hughes, a young man born blind who sees his disability as a possibility. Indeed, everything seems possible for Patrick, who can play the piano very well and is even in his university's marching band.

But what struck me most is the man behind him literally pushing him to be the best he can be. It's his dad, who marches with him (or rather pushes his wheelchair) at college games while Patrick plays his trombone.

To do this, dad works the graveyard shift at UPS (his shift starts at 11 p.m.), and joins Patrick in the daytime for his classes and band practice. What a dad!